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Plenty of women would prefer a phone call over a text from guys they're dating, yet they don't realize a very simple method exists to getting less texts and more calls: Don't text him back. You'll also get more time wasters, and less serious contenders in your dating pool. Because not texting men back is the ultimate means of separating those who are really into you from those who are kinda, sorta, maybe-if-it's-easy interested in you, at least until something better comes along. If a guy who's really smitten with you texts you and doesn't get a text back, what will happen? If you didn't hear back, you wouldn't just shrug it off and forget about it.I know, I know, such a suggestion will strike many as foolish or even insane in our text-addicted society, yet it really all goes back to incentives and human behavior. When you respond to texts you wish were phone calls, guess what you'll get? If it was important to you to get to the meeting to make your pitch, you'd call until you nailed things down. His lack of interest was why our relationship was always so difficult -- or to use the common euphemism, "complicated." But finally, with non-texting, I was able to put an end to the whole stupid time-wasting nonsense. On the other hand, if he's strongly attracted to you, he'll give you the benefit of the doubt, make excuses for you -- as in "Oh, she's not a texter" or "Maybe she didn't get my text." Indeed, as I've seen time and time again in my practice as a dating coach, if a contender is already starting out with a high level of interest in you, not texting back will pique -- not dilute -- that interest.And I’m all for softening the Interwebs with my sensitivity and responsiveness.But as I often say to the girls and women I work with, when kindness comes too often at your own expense, it’s not a kindness worth having.Example: An ex-boyfriend of mine, kind of on-again-off-again, was trying to get things "on again" with me, and had set up a dinner date with me by e-mail. That said, I know that for many even extremely practiced and disciplined Rules Girls, the "no texting" rule can be one of the most challenging to follow.I hear the complaint all the time: "But we live in a texting world.
If I know someone, I will answer even longer.” I’ve got an idea about why you can’t just say no.In a highly scientific survey, I asked one of my best friends, who works in publishing, if she ever felt like this.It was Saturday morning and we were both trudging through our inbox (yes, the word “Saturday” is what is wrong with that sentence).Many women fear that if they don't text back, they'll lose a guy. They rightly point out that if you're texting back and forth, you're way too available.And, yes, you will shake off those with lukewarm interest in you, which is a very productive and time-efficient thing to do: You've avoided wasting time on and possibly getting hurt by Mr. Too many women think not texting back invites dating mishaps and disasters -- but it actually prevents such. There's no mystery, no distance for him to pursue, if all he has to do it punch a keypad for you to respond.